Why this pilgrimage?

There is a big answer for this seemingly simple question. Although on reflection, I really shouldn't be surprised. 'Why?' is always a big question. It strives for understanding, comprehension, connection, rationale, explanation, reason, logic .....

In my play Rendition of the Soul, I quote from one of Caroline Myss' early tapes (early being circa 1998): 

"Why? You want to know why? You will never know why. That is the one thing they will never tell you, that you will never know. So suck it up." 

I am paraphrasing.

I like that the Greek word for why is the same as because: yiati

My answer to this question may become your line in the sand - whether or not you will join me via blogsville on this journey I am about to undertake. The journey that is a big part of the book currently incubating. My answer will either resonate, or not...

After returning home from a year in Crete, after drying the tears that had been shed for three weeks, after working in the garden and hanging out with my chooks and goats to connect back with the land, friends told me of a tour they were considering. 

       South of France they said. 

       Mary Magdalene they nodded.
       A 3 day workshop with Caroline Myss they rejoiced. 

I turned to Bruce and quietly said, "I have to do this."

How convenient that I had received a generous redundancy.

How lucky I was to be offered casual work (i.e. spending money).

Best of all, the new grandchild was not arriving till well after the proposed return date.

Bruce replied, "Have a think on it, before you decide." Haha. 

But I took his advice and sought out the connections between heart and mind and creativity:

1. The south of France has always called me. Quietly but persistently. My grandmother once told me when she was tracking back the ancestors, she had come across a French Baron who "was an evil man" and she never researched further. I believe he may have come to England at the time of the French Revolution. 

French blood runs in my veins. Perhaps.

2. There are two stories that exist in my shadow, brought to light through meditation and past-life regression workshops. In one, I was a gypsy wife to a big bear of a man. Dancing and music a feature of this life. In the second, I was sent to a nunnery/convent at puberty. My dancing had apparently attracted the attention of the local boys. Both these stories were on French soil.

The convent story intrigues me. I still feel its residue. I hate being contained, not claustrophobic, just not being able to see the sun and the sky. I came across a photograph of a shadowed cell in a book from the New York Guggenheim.  I painted it because of its powerful impact and somewhat familiarity. 

I believe this pilgrimage is going to take me there.

3. The opportunity to participate in a workshop with Caroline Myss is just the icing on the cake. Her first book Anatomy of the Spirit sits by my bedside for easy reference. I can still hear her voice from the hours of tapes I listened to.

But what about Mary, you may ask?

4. There are myriad explanations to select from: While in Greece I was drawn to the Byzantine images of The Last Supper, loudly proclaiming that the person sitting to the right of Jesus was a woman, Mary; During my travels I was constantly drawn to images and statues of the Black Madonna as well as the many images of a paler Mary; I am not troubled by challenging the status quo, comfortably accepting that Mary Magdalene was a teacher in her own right. Women throughout time are often silenced or become invisible in the historic recollections of men; I had been introduced to Mary's teachings by my Canadian sister Krow who has channeled stories of Mary and feels a deep connection. She carries this for us.

And lastly, 

5. When I returned from Crete and struggled to settle; questions rampaged my mind. The most overwhelming was why? 

Perhaps this pilgrimage is like the flower that the Buddha holds up in the Sermon on the Mount?

exquisite photography by Amanda Johnson

For those interested in more details of the Divine Feminine pilgrimage check out the website: Dancing Spirit Tours

For those interested in Krow's work, visit http://2.hereonearth.ca